Tuesday, 25 May 2010

British Politics Explained



Well, actually, no it isn't
British politics has got a bit strange. First of all, who on earth is Nick Clegg? Here's who:

Nick Clegg, of the Lib Dem persuasion
Has ambitions to rule the whole nation
But he's out of the race
Unless we embrace
Proportional representation

But lucky Nick gets to lord it over the big bruising Tory and Labour parties, since whoever he pals up with gets to form a government. Let's sum it up with a natty rhyme:

Nick Clegg, amongst pigs just a piglet
Points the finger of power! Watch him wiggle it
Tory or Labour?
What a moment to savour!
Draw straws? Or perhaps just a Twiglet

So he went with the Tories, as they have a nicer office, and we now have a coalition. What does this mean? Here goes:

Nick Clegg, now assistant PM
Is brimming with vigour and phlegm
The Lords out of steam!
A new voting regime!
Incidentally, favouring Lib Dem

Here comes that posh David Cameron!
At Downing Street's door he comes hammerin'
With his wife, cat and dog,
The kids, the pet frog
At this rate he won't get his grandma in

And as for the previous lot:

Gordon Brown, that old one-eyed campaigner,
Makes room for a fresher chicaner1
But soon, post-vacation
He'll deliver oration
If you pay him a handsome retainer



1 - Well, if chicanery is a word, then the person who does it must be a chicaner. Right?

43 comments:

  1. Young George was almost in heaven
    When they moved him to number eleven
    But he found, to his cost,
    That he was quite lost
    'Cos he didn't know eight times seven.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't know who runs this country anymore! Talk about The Mad Hatters Tea-Party.....all change!!!
    No change at all, just more mayhem.
    Just watching the State Opening, and what a palaver that is!
    I wonder why it's left to us to pay for and why the Queer Old Dean doesn't step in?

    Play nicely, children!

    ReplyDelete
  3. TheMiniGrump25 May 2010 15:10

    It is when you have legs like that... I'm guessing they belong to David Cameron.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm hoping it's better than our two-party system, or it's never going to work.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Now that you've put it that way, it does make sense.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Nick Clegg, now assistant PM
    Is brimming with vigour and phlegm"

    I think you might be the modern-day Kipling.

    *might be*

    ReplyDelete
  7. Brilliant, Uber! :) Goes to show that loathing politicians is an international phenomen!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I like Nick Clegg, he's really good on television. I'm really glad he's in charge now, telly would be boring without him.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh my. I'm so glad you can write poetry about politicians. I wouldn't know where to start.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't know about any of this, but you've inspired me to vote for anyone who runs as a chicaner.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey 'Grumpy! Fine work sir, glad to have you back.

    My favourite moment of the post-election turmoil was Mr. Hague facing the cameras and talking about all the fabulous things the Conservatives wanted to do, but (with a martyr's pained expression) implied that the only thing those tedious LibDems wanted to discuss was electoral reform.

    Lord Hague, in a suit coloured charcoal
    Rolled his eyes and declared a debacle
    LibDems, as was norm
    Would just talk reform
    Coalition had quite lost its sparkle

    Sorry, best I can do at the drop of a hat.

    Indigo

    ReplyDelete
  12. Only you could use the word Phlegm and make it interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh uber...you make me laugh so hard.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Vicus ~ Thank you! Mustn't forget Boy George...

    Alice ~ Never a dull moment, though, eh?

    Mini ~ Correct!

    Sarah ~ It isn't, and it doesn't, alas

    IT ~ It does? Cool!

    mo ~ My Dad's favourite joke; "Do you like Kipling?" "I don't know, I've never Kippled." I like it too

    RA ~ It is indeed!

    RT ~ Stop watching telly and get back to work

    ReplyDelete
  15. RefGeek ~ Have a go! I reckon you'd be awesome

    Robyn ~ Isn't that all of 'em?

    Indigo ~ Respect! You might have missed out on the opportunity to rhyme 'Hague' with 'vague' and 'renegue' though...

    JennyM ~ Not so nice on its own though eh? Yuck

    JenJen ~ Happy to return the favour, as you've had me laughing for well nigh a year now - keep it coming

    ReplyDelete
  16. This was brilliant, Ubergrump! Loved it. I still can't get used to seeing all the Tories and Lib Dems squashed together in Parliament! :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yoo Hoo......so good to read your "stuff" again!! Long time no contact. I have finished my manuscript, run a marathon and adopted a dog since I was last blogging. Now, I am back!Kisses. Kate

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yes, but aren't they handsome boys? Much beloved by grannies.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Political news can be dull,
    with the interest level at null
    but bung in a rhyme
    and given the time
    and I am sure to make a comment or two about it eventually.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You never disappoint, Uber. Even when I haven't a clue what you are saying, you still make me laugh.

    BTW....I finally answered that tag you tagged me with eons ago. It was a little stale with age, so I popped it in the microwave for a minute and it was a good as new post.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Award for you at my place. No rules attached!
    The Good Girls

    ReplyDelete
  22. Are you still with us? Hope all well.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Wher have all the guitars gone,long time .....?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hey 'Grumpy! Where you gone? We miss you! Indigo

    ReplyDelete
  25. Uhm yeah.... I am your illigitimate daughter from that one time when you [evidently] sneezed on my Mother.

    Anyway, It's time for me to go to university! I hope to get a PHd.

    Mum told me it was about time you paid for something,so do you think you can get your house sold for Sept? Dad? :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Where are you? Come out, come out, wherever you are!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Nice article, thanks for the information.

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  28. where'd grumpy go???

    ReplyDelete
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