Monday 26 April 2010

Gordon, Where's Your Troosers?



Tartan: always stylish
Did you know a Scottish drummer in a kilt is the sexiest thing on the planet?

So says Gordon, our Scottish drummer, who spent last night drumming for us1 AND his other band; and yes, he was in a kilt. I think this was terrifically brave. You wouldn't catch me sitting on a stage, on a three-legged stool, in a short tartan skirt with no underpants, joggling my knees up and down for a couple of hours.

The occasion: the special birthday of Gordon's amazingly young wife. How did he attract such a rare beauty? After all, he is a drummer. Well, if you saw his impressive drumstick manoeuvres last night like we did, you wouldn't need to ask.

And yes, I do have a hangover worthy of the occasion. Oh how it hurts. I blame Gordon Brown2, and the wine.

These guys know how to put on a party. We kicked off with ace grub (no Twiglets - very classy) and then moved quickly on to a Ceilidh. This is pronounced 'kaley'; imagine The Queen on first-name terms with Kylie Minoghue and you'll pronounce it about right. The strange spelling results from the reluctance of the Scots, until recently, to buy the more expensive letters of the alphabet, like 'a'; they're a canny bunch.

Having learned 'The Gay Gordons' (it was a broad-minded sort of evening) we moved on to a rockin' set from Gordon's old band, The Works. Resplendent in kilts and big hairy sporrans, they blasted through rock classic after rock classic; but the high spot for me was the medley of 'Smoke on the Water' and 'Donald Where's Your Troosers'. Unforgettable. No really.

So then we came on and did our thaaang and do you know what? In my conventional legwear I got quite sweaty, and even a little chafed. So I've seen the light. Tomorrow I'm off out to buy a kilt. Then I shall chuck all my underpants in the bin. Except the tartan ones.



1 - Hot Rabbit, Hampshire's hardest-working band
2 - Scottish! Ah ha

17 comments:

  1. I used to have to suffer ceilidhs every St. Andrew's Day as a kid. I even wore a kilt although I have no tackle to swing around or anything, being a girl and all. In my teens I used to enjoy American tourists being photographed with "professional" bagpipers in town and they'd be totally oblivious to the fact that behind their heads the pipers would have their kilts above their waists and their "instruments" practically resting on the tourists' heads. Good times. :)

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  2. I work at a college with a Scottish name and, of course, a pipe band. Oddly enough, I've grown to love the sound, but it's taken most of my 28 years on the job!

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  3. I'm totally chucking my panties, even with the expensive letter ones. Chafing sucks.

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  4. My husband was a Scots, and even now my FIL still wears the kilt, along with all the trimmings including a dirk in his stocking.
    He has played as the lone piper at the Edinburgh Military Tattoo a few times.
    I used to joke that my husband was only English by marriage, but I loved New Year there. All the pubs and clubs close at 9:00p.m. because it is traditional for everyone to be back in their own homes for "the bells", then, after all the first-footing, we used to go out to all the others houses....this would often last for three or four days!

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  5. Do post pictures of you in your kilt, Uber.
    xoRobyn

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  6. Yes please a picture in your toosers. :)

    I would have prefered your picture to be Robbie Williams in a kilt..and they do exist. :0

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  7. Nice blog Ubergrump! If you had worn a kilt like me, there would be absolutely no chafing!! Glad you enjoyed the party.

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  8. Supacalagrumpalisticexpialadocious....very good!

    Look forward to reading how you cope with bare legs in winter ;-)

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  9. Fantastic. My mother-in-law is Scottish, and we had Donald Where's Your Troosers played at our wedding reception. I laugh every time I hear that song.

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  10. You may still chafe in a kilt.

    Remember to shave the boys. Helps tremendously.

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  11. Is it true that you have to cover a Big Country song whenever someone Scottish who's called Gordon plays in your ensemble?

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  12. Hey 'Grumpy! As a man with MacGregor in his blood from his Mother's side, I often feel the call of the tartan. And a pretty Scots lass once said I should get a kilt 'cos I'd look fab. I've no idea why I never did. What a muppet. Indigo

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  13. I can see where a kilt would make sense in a sweaty pub.

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  14. kilt without underpants? so glad i wasn't there, although the image is hard to get rid of in my mind.

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  15. Any man in a kilt is sexy. Or am I just unfussy these days?

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  16. I saw Deep Purple in concert in the 70's. I remember them pounding out Smoke On The Water. I think I remember, anyway. It could just be a flashback.

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