Thursday, 24 September 2009

Merry Christmas everyone!

Always dress warmly
during cold weather

Not grumpy today, no sirree. I am lifted from the drudgery of a visit to Sainsburys by the sight of the new Christmas chocolate biscuit range. Festive cheer already! We can have three whole months of celebrating, and I for one can hardly wait.

Whilst examining the sumptuous new range I overheard an old lady asking a cheerful storeperson where the gardening range was. His response was that such things are seasonal, and therefore no longer stocked. So she can take heart too. Autumn is traditionally a very busy time in the garden, but this year she can kick back and enjoy a premature Yuletide Chocolate Hobnob.

Since the biscuits are in already, I wonder what other seasonal delights await. Let me guess. Soon we will be able to load up on Spiderman Holiday Calendars, since Advent calendars are horribly old-fashioned, two-dimensional and just not calorific enough. Our pets will enjoy their very own stockings; hilarious novelty items will send us giggling round the aisles; we can be astounded at forty-seven different varieties of Christmas cracker; baubles for the tree, checked by the HSE, will ensure a shiny but safe holiday for our loved ones.

If we think this is all too gluttonous, then we can salve any guilt by chucking a tin of Basics Tinned Tomatoes into the Basics Bank. So all those poor and homeless people can enjoy three months of relentless jollity too. Share the love!


  1. Is the bikini available from the seasonal isle in Sainsburys and if so could I have a size 12 please.....