Sunday, 18 October 2009

Spandau Belly

Phew, Kylie's getting on
a bit

Like most 48-year-olds who are scared of motorbikes, I'm in a band. When you hear the words Hot Rabbit you may think 'marital aid' but a lot of people round here think 'Hampshire's Hardest-Working Band'. We're pretty good. As NME1 puts it, 'These guys can rock, and sometimes do. If you're planning a wedding, bar mitzvah, or funeral, look no further. It's party time. Discounts for over-60s.'

So when I watched Strictly Come Dancing last night, and saw Spandau Ballet, still rockin' after all those beers, it felt like an encounter with true kindred spirits. Tony Hadley may not be able to quite reach the high notes any more, but he has more than compensated by beefing up his stage presence.

I love Strictly, like everyone in Britain is obliged to. I can put up with Bruce Forsyth, the god-awful face-lifted judges, the tooth-grinding pregnant pauses when one of the b-list celebrities is kicked off, the 15p per call 'but mobiles cost considerably more', the stilted chat segments, the endless follow-ups with Cladia Winkleman, and the odd purple lighting that makes my TV go funny. The nine minutes or so of actual dancing, which is knockout, make watching the entire two and a half hours worthwhile. Plus my family like it, and they'd be quite annoyed with me if I grumped. So I won't.

Instead let's focus on Spandau Ballet themselves, and the phenomenon of the never-ending rock group. Never mind if names like 'Gerry And The Pacemakers' 'The Mamas and the Papas', or 'Derek, Pass The Dominoes' get to sound a bit ironic with the passing of the years; the songs live on, man. When the competition consists of Lilly Allen or Mika2 then they'll live on for a while yet. So if they can still sing, wheel' em out! The fans will overlook a pork pie or two, and if you can't dive into the mosh pit any more because of your hip replacement, they'll understand.

Bottom line; if Ozzy Osbourne can do it, so can we, even though we have to carry our own equipment. We don't intend to retire anytime soon. And we're quite cheap.

1 - New Milton Echo - one of the South's most influential free newspapers
2 - OK, a matter of opinion, I know. But have you heard We Are Golden?


  1. Spandau Ballet = GOLD!
    Mika = dskjsdfkvdslksdkdsdklfhvb

  2. Talking of which, A-Ha are breaking up next year. Time to break out that Dom Perignon '69 I was saving. Take on me, or is that take me on...whatever.

  3. Tesco - Cheap Jokes Division19 October 2009 at 21:19

    Not necessarily thinking of love aids with the hot rabbits but "we are golden" is clearly a song about one of the more peculiar love games...

  4. If Spandau Ballet can come back after twenty years I look forward to the Hot Rabbit (is that a reference to Kylie, by the way) reunion in 2029. I wonder, how do you play a Les Paul with a zimmer frame...

  5. Hot rabbit in 2029? That would be worth a photo or two. I prefer "know how to jive" to "know how to rock." Perhaps if there were more suspicious beards and 'epic' solos.

  6. Glad you went with the picture of Kylie rather than one of yourself (although, admittedly, you look OK in your sussies....).

    Roll on the 2029 reunion tour...