When Irish 'Ayes' Are Smiling

Never! I mean, you betcha!

If exit polls are to be believed, our obliging neighbours across the Irish Sea have voted with a resounding 'Yes' to ratify the mysterious Lisbon treaty. Plenty of goodies will ensue; we are apparently due for Tony Bleeeuh as president. I expect his eyes are watering with anticipation. If he could drag Britain to war with Iraq against the collective will of both countries, imagine what he'll do with Europe.

And there's plenty more hidden in there. It may not be called a constitution anymore but what's in a name? In the wise words of Valery Giscard d'Estaing, who despite the name isn't a girl: "Public opinion will be led - without knowing it - to adopt the policies we would never dare present to them directly. All the earlier proposals will be in the new text, but will be hidden or disguised in some way." But don't just take her, sorry his, word for it, have a look at the whole enchilada! I warn you; there are 413 articles and I dropped off after the first three. It's good reading around nap-time.

But wait a minute - didn't the Irish vote 'No' to this same treaty? Why yes they did; but that was the wrong answer. It's like the British planning system; if you want to build a monstrous carbuncle in your back garden, then (a) chuck in a ludicrous planning application (b) if accepted, build! Sod the neighbours! (c) If refused, wait a month and start at (a) again, then repeat ad infinitum.

This ingenious mechanism has ensured a plentiful supply of housing in our little country for years to come, whilst leaving intact the royal hunting grounds and allowing the MOD to retain vast tracts of Wiltshire. And because it's gradual, we don't have to waste money on annoying fripperies like extra roads, hospitals, and schools. Good, eh?

So think of the irony! Brussels, courtesy of Ireland, has at last taken a leaf out of the British book, and has reached that happy 'Sod The Neighbours' moment. Expect many new palaces, junkets, expenses, hangers-on, oh, and laws.