Saturday, 28 November 2009

Haikus Are For Weenies

Limerick, Ireland: Home to humourous
verse and, er, shorts

I summarised last month in haiku. My good mate dozyoldbuga at the time said that 'Haiku are just limericks with a posh education'. Stung, I report the month in limerick form then.

First, a round-up of world news:

At the prospect of President Rompuy
Europeans are getting quite jumpy
A Belgian on top?
Someone else, put a stop!
So I nominate UberGrumpy

The anonymous Lady of Ashton
By the press has been thoroughly bashed on
After far too much fizz
She defends her job, viz:
"I'm the firsht, but I won't be the lasht one"

From the US, the no. 1 charmer
With the slightly odd name of Obama
Went to China but then
Buggered off home again
What a blow for the poor Dalai Lama

And in science news:

And lo! the Large Hadron Collider
Finally has protons inside 'er
She'll soon be the cause
Of new physical laws
Which will silence the folk who deride 'er

London traffic congestion is chronic
But they're planning a car, supersonic!
Why not, instead
Make a driveable bed
Since we all come to work catatonic

Closer to home, the quaint but weird Queen's Speech has triggered the run-in to the UK General Election. Snore. Here are the main contenders:

Gordon Brown, through the speech of the Queen,
can vent his electoral spleen
More taxes by stealth!
Then that dirty word, wealth
Just like Brown, will become a has-been

David Cameron, old boy from Eton
Doesn't think he can ever be beaten
Dave, don't count that chicken!
Or you'll soon be lickin'
The wounds from the voters' unseatin'

Nick Clegg, of the Lib Dem persuasion
Has ambitions to rule the whole nation
But he hasn't a hope
Unless we can cope
With proportional representation

A nasty young young man name of Griffin
Ate far too much BNP tiffin
But it's really all right
'cause the chocolate is white
So he'll just have to tuck his midriff in

Lord Pearson is looking quite surly
The polls make the UKIP1 look girly
So let's cheer him up
With a great steaming cup
of Earl Grey, and a nice curly-wurly

1 - Pronounced you-kip so yes it does scan, thank you very much


  1. There was a young blogger named Uber
    Whose limericks were other than super
    The rhymes a bit flat
    Like 'The Cat in the Hat'
    I think the idea is a blooper

    Best I can do in the time available and yes I did struggle with line four...

    On the whole, not a bad effort - no - bad doesn't express it at all.

  2. Wow, Urber I am just amazed at the things that you write about! Being English too, I can relate to the things that you write about! I should read your pages more often...or you should write more!
    I love this site!

  3. good job. that's a lot of work on a holiday.

  4. I like it!! and I don't even understand half of it. :-)

  5. Much prefer the Limericks to the Haiku. Either I am an uneducated heathen or the Limerick is just where your true talent lies - possibly both.

  6. There once was a blogger named Uber
    Who really was a loser
    He needs a life
    (One without so much strife)
    And a blog that doesn't make me snooze-er...

  7. Paul ~ yeah, not bad, needs work

    Alice ~ Thank you fellow Brit!

    Sarah ~ No hol here, alas, we've got to wait until Christmas

    Marla ~ Me neither!

    TWKids ~ You're right, I'll stick to the limericks

    Mini ~
    There once was a daughter named Mini
    Who bashed her poor Dad on the chinny
    But give her a while
    She'll come round with a smile
    Otherwise her allowance is fini

  8. Saved the best Limerick 'til last eh? That'll be the last time the mini grump takes liberties - bloomin kids (mind you, I like her style)

  9. thanks Ubergrumpy for your comment on my blog. I like your posts!

  10. Ubergrumpy your uberbrilliant - thanks for visiting me, I'll be visiting you again soon

  11. I love it - thanks for the laugh on a Monday morning

    Kate x

  12. BP ~ Bloomin kids is right

    BBG ~ You're welcome, and likewise. Us grumps need to stick together

    Rosie ~ Uberthankyou! I'm following your upcoming nuptials keenly

    Kate ~ Thank you! Now, heads down for the workin' week, sigh

  13. I'm quite shite at these, so I'm not going to join in.

    And you can't make me.

    I like yours though, so I am high fiving your haikus/limericks.

  14. You are SO clever! I can't come up with one right now, and it would NOT be as good as yours. So I'm not gonna. : )

  15. Great job. Now I'm smiling. I'll get to work on that!

  16. Dan ~ I've read your blog, I bet you'd ace 'em with a bit of practice

    MiMi ~ Thank you! But have a try...

    Reforming Geek ~ Smiling is good exercise, so you won't need to jog anymore! See?